Every Breath

Being in hospital in the depths of a category A illness is very serious and when supplementary Oxygen is also administered and SATS are very low you realise that things are starting to head in a certain direction. When breathing becomes laboured, in fact quite difficult every breath becomes almost the biggest undertaking in life and for me personally it was during those moments I had a realisation a deep understanding that God was in every breath Job 12:10 In whose hand is the soul of every living thing, and the breath of all mankind so I suppose I found myself breathing with Him and starting to consider that as He made my lungs He also made Oxygen and this did produce quite an inexplicable calm and has become just one of the myriad of supernatural dynamics I discovered though a marathon year of suffering. Every breath became a prayer, a glorious encounter in ‘time’ but simultaneously outside of this present world.

With a suffering body glimpses of the future and the glories of moments with Him its paradoxical how physical suffering can be mixed with extraordinary joy, peace and relational revelations. There were extraordinarily moments of much more than simple hope it was indeed as if I was in a perfect peace where the confidence of a physical life became secondary to a permanent interaction with Him in the most gentle yet immutable certainty that all was actually OK. Sometimes I think I wasn't at home in the body but with Him and near to what was going to be quite possibly end of life but His Holy love was so present it became quite easily the only direction.

I’m so grateful though for the peace of His presence His flow of life as all encompassing. It’s hard to explain the full relational dynamic with mere words but what might have been a fear of death has been replaced by an extraordinary assurance and a deeper unconscious longing for His presence although now my heart is shared with His in a two dimensional locale that is my heart (for want of a better word) basically inside there is a profound certainty an inner knowledge of where home is where heaven is (Jesus said The Kingdom of Heaven is within) and how true that is I now know the essence of Hebrews 13.5 ....I will never leave you or forsake you? Its so easily multi dimensional we are clearly hybrid with a spirit alive in Him and body containing that treasure in earth - I understand that there is much more and its attainable as religion which seems to masquerade as the Kingdom of Heaven just doesn't suffice.

There is much more – we simply must have Him I think I’ve realised that its an imperative (a must) we just need a touch, a breath a glance (as per Song of Songs) an encounter but as He doesn't seem to just slap everything on a plate its an inner drive a desire for fellowship - as Hebrews 4:6 says some must enter and I think that’s as it says 'must'. I know there’s nowhere else I’d rather ultimately be as His presence is better than life (no need to go to conferences or a special religious service and they can be helpful, although simply nowhere near His actual presence both in and out of the heart John was right we do indeed fellowship with The Father and His Son and each other and all at once (which I think needs more explanation).

Encounters with God take a while to unpack perhaps years i.e. Paul went away to try and understand exactly what happened on the Damascus road and had sight of His love and the Holiness of The Glorious resurrected Jesus not just in His visual impression system (he was blinded for days) but emotional infrastructure and mind understanding. I think its about time to endeavour to understand His Kingdom of Heaven, His realm where we already are in spirit with Him and I'm beginning to see differently that we should live, move, breath and have our being in it as Paul reveals in Acts of the Apostles 17:27-29. The Kingdom of Heaven/Kingdom of God was the primary message of Jesus!

For Paul deciphering the treat and beauty of the encounter, the healing the relief of restored vision and the first human he saw was Ananias - a hybrid human to whom Jesus actually gives past present and future prophetic revelations (so there's a perfect heart He could work with just bless Ananias what a treasure!!)…Paul realised that faith and belief co exist together because that is in Paul’s exclamation that everything in Him is Yes and Amen and as St John says literally in 1 Jn 4:18 "fear is not in The Love" and Love comes from, with, and in Him as He is in every breath.

Practical exercises which work (continued).